Satan Said Ana

Famale.
22.
H* 1,64m // 5,38 ft


LW: 45Kg//99lbs
HW: 62Kg//136lbs

CW* 52,9Kg // 116lbs

1st week GW 50Kg//110lbs

GW* 45KG // 99lbs


ED Directory
La la Love...
Lovely ones...

Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosed.

…ok… now I wanna die.

I didn’t purge myself since April, but today something happened inside of me.

Actually I don’t feel “normal” for the last two weeks. I’ve started cutting myself again, and having anxiety attacks.

Thought, purging was the next step.

Tomorrow my psychologist will make me a few tests, he says that probably my problem is not just the ED. I’m really scared.

I just want to sleep forever. I’m so fuckin tired of this shit, I thought it stopped for good, but my shitty mind always restart. 

I will appreciate any support message now girls, I really need it…

Love.

Today I went to see my new Doc cuz my recovery is nit going well, Is not since I startes writing again thos kind of things and watching thinspo and wanting to lose weight.
But this Is worst than I though, he wants to test me cuz I might have something more, I don’t know what, but I wonder can I handle another pathology?

I feel tired about my job, I feel sad and fat and I want to go home and take all my pills and take a rest for a week. I want coma.

Someone have a good word for me
?

I prefer sleeping than eating.

Why they just let me keep my mouth fucking closed
?

Intake: 120cal.

  • Fish soup= 20cal.
  • French omelette= 100cal.

Today’s class was so good, I’m starting new projects and keeping my mind on things that I love.

Came home and my grannie made dinner for me, so I couldn’t scape… Too bad.

Every night I speak by the phone with this girl who I’m hanging out with, It’s feels so weird when I think we will be a couple, maybe, someday.

I saw your video! You look AMAZING! How'd you do it?! What did you eat/not eat?
satansaidnext satansaidnext Said:

Thaaanks! I just ate fruit and veggies and drink water… I want to look like that again :C 

Not. Hungry. Anymore.

Walk to school to feel better about that potato with roast chicken.

Intake: 200 cal.

  • Small roast potato= 80cal.
  • Roast chicken= 120cal.

I feel bad about the potato, but I’m a girl with a plan:

  • 3 days leaving sugar out of my diet. No sweeteners either, just sweet-free coffee and tea.
  • Also reducing quantity on my plate this 3 days.
  • No solid for dinner, just clear soup.

After that I’ll start moving, just because I don’t feel well this days and I don’t want to force me while I’m leaving sugar.

I want my mom to send me Winter Girls (it’s at her home, I was living with her when I started my recovery) but I don’t want to scare her, maybe she doesn’t know what is about… or maybe she take a look. Maybe I should buy it again, but I don’t have money to spend in whims, I need to pay school.

I feel tired, I want to sleep. 

The girl I’m dating gave me as a gift a Syd Barret’s bio last week, I love Pink Floyd and I think Barret was a genius, I do have special love for crazy people.

Let’s take a look.

Shine on you Crazy Diamond.

I wrote a text and It disappeared. Weird.

I’m listening my Ana playlist, which I made when I have the MDS ED community. I miss that girls.

My grandpa got into my room and ask me why I didn’t went to work, and why I’m always having problems with my stomach.

I never had this kind of problems, since my EDs stared I was living on my own or with boyfriend (well, till he drop me at my mum’s cuz he thought I had a huge problem with purging whitch was actually true).

The thing is, I can’t do whatever I want whenever I want. I’ll have to hide food and that kind of things that I ever did.

I was thinking about try to do the master cleanse again, I tried like a year ago, but I was too thin and unhealthy and I felt sick at second day.

Should I try now

?

isisloveforever:

Sasha Pivovarova by Mario Sorrenti for Vogue Paris

I love SASHA!

isisloveforever:

Sasha Pivovarova by Mario Sorrenti for Vogue Paris

I love SASHA!

(via missdaintyd)

10 plays
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists,
Shake the Sheets

ohhsheesh:

Fighting for the smallest goal: to get a little self-control.

This song hits too close to home.

(via ohhsheesh-deactivated20120909)

Freja <3

Monday, 8.30am, empty, 52.9kg (116pounds).

Say Hi to my grannies (who I live with)… And have breakfast together like eeeeeverymorning.

Intake: 366 cal

  • Bread (50gr)= 146 cal
  • Jam (3 slices)= 63 cal
  • Orange juice (glass)= 110 cal
  • LfMilk+Coffee (cup)= 47 cal

I don’t want to go to work, it’s cold outside and I still feeling sick… I’ll call to the doctor.

9.30am.

I’m in bed again, I’m cold, sneezing, ouch :(

Next Goal: 50kg on sunday.

6 days and counting.

Later if I go out I’ll buy some laxatives.

I’m watching thinspo and I feel supersized.

Headache. Tired. I want to sleep.

(?)